Award-Winning Author Ellen Jackson

STRUCTURING A SCENE

After you’ve outlined your story, you’re ready to write some scenes. Scenes are the basic building blocks of children’s fiction. Like a series of stepping stones, scenes guide the reader along the predetermined path to your story’s conclusion.

Reviewing a sample scene

Consider the following humorous scene that appears in my book The Wacky Witch War. Wendy, the child protagonist, is about to be caught in the middle of a spell-casting conflict between her father and her teacher. When Miss Crispus fails to show up for class, the children are dismissed for the day:

Everyone except Wendy left. She had noticed the new pencil sharpener on the wall near the chalkboard. Something about it looked familiar.

"Hoofus Goofus!" said Wendy, pointing her fourteen-kilobat spell-cruncher at the pencil sharpener.

Poof! Miss Crispus appeared, hanging from a nail in the wall. Wendy apologized for her father’s spell.

"I’m afraid he might try it again," Wendy said. "You see, Papa doesn’t want me to go to school."

"Well, well, well," said Miss Crispus, picking wood shavings out of her teeth. "I’m feeling a bit witchy myself. I’m no ordinary teacher, Wendy. No indeed!"

She took down a big book of magic from the bookcase.

"Purissima Bologna! Sandwitchy Scrampola!" chanted Miss Crispus.

Wendy scooted out of the classroom as quickly as she could.

Breaking down a scene

This example of a simple scene contains all the necessary elements to help you build an effective scene in your own work. Look at these elements one by one, and then apply them to your story:

Time: Earlier, I established that this scene takes place on a Thursday morning in September during the first week of school. Now we know that this specific scene begins after class has been dismissed.

Everyone except Wendy left.

Point of view: Readers see the action through one person’s eyes. Wendy is the point-of-view character, and readers see this scene as she is experiencing it.

She had noticed the new pencil sharpener on the wall near the chalkboard.

Background information: Not every insight or revelation in every scene is shown in detail. Sometimes the author must sum up or give a brief explanation. I could have said, "The pencil sharpener was long and thin. The curly pencil shavings were brown, the same color as Miss Crispus’s hair." But to keep the story going, Wendy’s recognition that the pencil sharpener and Miss Crispus are one and the same is reduced to a sentence of five words.

Something about it looked familiar.

Character motivation: Wendy has a goal in this scene. She wants to undo her father’s mischief so that she can continue to go to school.

"Hoofus Goofus!" said Wendy, pointing her fourteen-kilobat spell-cruncher at the pencil sharpener… Wendy apologized for her father’s spell.

Dialogue: The reader already knows that Wendy’s father doesn’t want her to go to school, but Miss Crispus doesn’t know it. Through dialogue, one character relays necessary information to another character.

"I’m afraid he might try it again," Wendy said sadly. "You see, Papa doesn’t want me to go to school."

Build conflict and tension: Miss Crispus now has a good reason, or motive, to fight back, and we have the first suggestion that she will do so. But how will she go about it? The groundwork is being laid for what is to come.

"Well, well, well," said Miss Crispus, picking wood shavings out of her teeth. "I’m feeling a bit witchy myself."

Suspense: The reader, along with Wendy, learns something new about Miss Crispus. Wendy’s teacher has a secret. The reader has to turn the page to find out what it is.

"I’m no ordinary teacher, Wendy. No indeed!"

Setting: In a longer work, the setting may be described at length. Because this is a picture book, I don’t need to describe it in detail. The setting, in this case a classroom, will be depicted in the illustrations. Objects such as the chalkboard, the bookcase, and the pencil sharpener are mentioned as the characters interact with them.

She took down a big book of magic from the bookcase.

Tone: The dialogue and language in the scene are appropriate to the tone of the story or novel as a whole. Because The Wacky Witch War is a humorous story, the words chanted by Miss Crispus are funny rather than scary. The "spell" also gives a clue about what object Wendy’s Papa is about to become.

"Purissima Bologna! Sandwitchy Scrampola!"

Action: Note that this scene begins and ends with action. Even while the characters are talking, they are active. For example, Miss Crispus picks wood shavings out of her teeth. This particular scene ends with a cliffhanger: What will Wendy find when she gets home?

Wendy scooted out of the classroom as quickly as she could.


Building your own scene

Now you do it. Choose one scene from your outline, preferably from the middle, and answer the following questions in as much detail as necessary. Notice that you may have an easier time answering the same questions in the following order, rather than in the order I placed them in my story. After answering the questions, you can better decide the order for presenting all the information in the scene.

The logical flow of your story determines how much information to give and the order in which this information is presented.

Setting: What is the setting for this particular scene? (Indoors or outdoors? Home, school, or community? Country or city?)

Time: When is the scene happening? (What is the time of day or time of year?)

Point of view: Which characters are present? Who is the point of view character?

Tone: Who is speaking to whom? How do the characters’ words convey the tone or feeling of the story?

Background information: What information needs to be summed up or explained in this scene?

Dialogue: What information needs to be conveyed to another character?

Suspense: What new information needs to be conveyed to the reader?


Build conflict and tension: What is the conflict or source of tension propelling the action? Have you added a mystery, secret, or other intriguing element to keep the reader emotionally involved?

Character motivation: What is your main character’s goal in this scene? (List another character’s goal if your main character isn’t present.)

Action: What action needs to happen in this scene? How does this action lead to future action? Does the scene end with a question or a cliffhanger?

While you may not need to analyze each scene in this much detail, answering most of these questions for each of your important scenes can be useful—especially if you’re writing a longer work.

After you answer these questions, write your scene. Be sure to use active, dynamic words to keep the scene moving at a fast clip. For example, use galloped, scooted, skipped, or strolled instead of walked.